whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
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