Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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