so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize