if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize