dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
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I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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