Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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