Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize