Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
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You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
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He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
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