She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize