Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
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I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
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Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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