she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize