Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
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You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
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Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
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