Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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