So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
worst night to have a conscience
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize