I can tuck mytits in my pants
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
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