someone owes me an orgasm
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize