i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
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A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
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I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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