meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
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