Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
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