K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
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