wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize