I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
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