I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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