I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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