Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize