I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
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you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
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Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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