I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize