You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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