What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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