Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
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