I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize