Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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