He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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