on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
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