mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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