The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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