So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
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Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
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"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
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