The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize