onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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