I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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