Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
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He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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