I'm going to jail i love you
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Your penis caused this!
Randomize