Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize