Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
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I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
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