i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
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