I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
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I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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