I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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