no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize