thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
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