dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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